Thursday, May 1, 2008

It never happened

May the 1st, all hail the Laborers of the world.

Kudos to all the socio economic achievements of the all the laborers around the world.

Having said that, today is also a holiday for all the good reasons, May day or not, this day happens to a cross-quarter day-falls approximately halfway between a solstice and an equinox.Never mind all the high-funda words.

Ahhh, Coming back to this post- A plethora of embarrassment.

Before I go into the details, let me give you a preamble about myself.Im never this “easily getting embarrassed” types. I don’t give myself a chance to get embarrassed that easily .Im more of having witnessed fellow human beings getting embarrassed in public, and “try-not-to-laugh” types.But whats provoked me to write this post is because my luck has shifted gears lately, and the first category of “easily-getting-embarrased” has befallen on me, ever so often in public.Defining public- from RTO office to conference rooms.

Whenever I think about those unique moments , it makes me wanna shrink my face in disgust with liberal usage of couple of swear words on the next person I see, I just wish it never happened.

For the betterment of my ego and this blog, lets call those incidents as “it never happened”

It never happened-I wish

It was a Sunday (or rather I call it doomsday), me being the “then coach” of a school basketball team,I was holding a small get-to-gether at a nearby ice-cream parlour with the team.(I know what ya thinking, Ice cream parlour-not quite cheesy, but I had drive a herd of wild school kids).Well, the meetup point happened to be the school gate from where I was to tug the group to the ice cream site(This happened to be the costliest decision made).

When all the 13 in the team gathered at the spot, they were uncontrollable and not-surprisingly noisy, and the consequence of that appeared in the form of a monster nun which goes by the title-the principal of the school, who for some reason was taking a stroll along the school gate on that particular day ( I heard the first sound of my luck shifting gears).The following is the conversation,that followed with the principal,

for privacy sakes lets call her “ full-of-crap” lady


Me: morning sister ( it was 5pm..crap!!! who cares)

“ full-of-crap” lady : glares at me, as if im some disgusting insect

I didn’t give a damn, I was wearing an ethinic salwar suit, with my hair left held back by my fasttrack eye gear, and chewing a gum, since I was feeling slightly nauseous on that particular day.

“ full-of-crap” lady : Continues to scowl in my direction

Me : unperturbed,I just kept chewing my gum.

“ full-of-crap” lady : essume me!!! .Wot ess haappening ere.Why is childrans making naise
(Translation:Excuse me!! What is happening here.Why are children making noise)

Me : Well, Blah blah blahh-blah-gettogether- blah blah,-ice cream parlour -more blahhh, for team interaction.

“ full-of-crap” lady :Did yu got parrmisson prom me.
(Transaltion:Did you get permission from me)

Me : Well, sister, its not school day, today is a Sunday. And I got the parrmisson(hehe), from the respective kids’ parents.Only upon their approval, im taking the kids out.

“ full-of-crap” lady : No no no, these ess very baid (bad). Today you taking childrens to eeat ice-cream, tomorrow you take them to beach, and tsunami come, all die…

It took me sometime, to actually register what she was saying, did she say “TSUNAMI”.??!!!
Before I could reply.She ploughed on

“ full-of-crap” lady : Luke at you. You ave no raspact for me(i.e.respect-watch out for this word). Why are you chewing gum???

Me : Well, errrrrr……( Mabe chewing gums are mean to be chewed..hahaha).

“ full-of-crap” lady : frst, lerrrn raspact!!!!, (her eyes rovers over me from top to bottom). Yoare father ess vaery good man. And you ave no raspact at aalu. (aalu?? Ohhhh, gotcha “You have no respect at all”)

(to hell with raspact, I plunged into my speech )

Me: Sister, let me tell you something, I studied in this very school for 14 years, Onething, this school has thought me ,” is respect cannot be demanded, it has be earned.”i have respect for this school and its principals in my heart.You are taking the principal seat which was once was occupied by the likes of sister Rosely Paul, Sister and Mary Lobo ( clap clap clap!!!!! I was surprised how sentimentally I attacked .but, nevertheless- she was taken aback not impressed, I Sure touched one sensitive spot in her ).

“ full-of-crap” lady : She was gaping me at as if I was from some strange land.She now looked like she swallowed an inspect

Me : Good bye, Sister!.. have a nice day.

And that was goodbye to my coaching days as well, Doomsday!!!


sid said...

Happened to drop by & found this particular post really hilarious:-)...gr8 entertainment:-p...I happened to be a basketball team captain too in earlier life, but I thank god I never thot of an ice cream idea!

Kavitha Mahalingam said...

Glad u get the hilarity of the situation...;)
yeah,true,.. the ice-cream parlour thing was lame!!!..shud have taken the kids to a pub, if i'd known i'll be fired for it...hehe..just kidding.

Raghav said...

Found you via Indiblogger!

Well written...... and great attitude towards things as well

Kavitha Mahalingam said...


Thanks dude!
Keep visitin!!