Sunday, March 28, 2010

JOTHIKAFICATION

The two to-do things at the very top of my never-to-do list is
1. Never-ever shut down my blog.EVER
2. Never-ever booze.EVERRRRRR.
As shameless I am for making you all read this having spoken like Revolver Rita(as lakshmi puts it) in my previous post, for I am guilty as well in breaking the truce with my never-to-do list.No matter how situations may twist and present itself, no matter how downhill my life may go,I swore to the gods of internet,blogging,facebooking,orkuting,tamil-matrimony.com and the vices that I would slit my throat before the day dawns when I shut down this space.The same holds good for point number 2 as well.But here i am as guilty as charged.
WARNING:The forth coming lines you read will be a confession of sorts.
Point 1: Now tat you are all reading this post, its an unspoken,undeclared statement that I'm back blogging.YES. I'm BACK. Feels good to say it. Not a day had gone by since my very-lame-dramatic-closing post without me hitting my blog atleast twice a day going through all your comments for my previous posts and laughing manically reading em' all  in my lonely cubicle at work. It hurt to even think all that was history.I jerked two tears everytime the thought struck. buuuuuuuhuuuuuu!!!..But now I'm back, its immaterial why I went slightly cukkoo in the head to go offline suddenly.Thanks to some really nice souls in our blogger hood clan and some liberal usage of threatening words by them to return back to blogging.I'm ever so obligedged to you all.No words.Big fan of all you guys reading!
Prologue: I'm 48kgs in weight and 5 4" in height. I call myself slim, my friends say im thin, my  mom says "God drew a line with a pencil in his left hand and thats my daughter"
Point 2: Ahem, the object of this post. Last week,my mom announced in an exasperated tone "Aaru maasathula,Yen ponnu kundu aaganum".I didnt realise the effect of that statement until my aunt came home with a bottle of red wine yesterday and placed it with a tud on my computer table as i was feverishly typing away on my lappy. I glanced at the bottle at the corner of my eye and instantly knew where the inspiration behind the bottle came from.I shot a stare at my mom who was sulking behind my aunt.
"Side-dish kondu varale?",i asked sarcastically.
My aunt plunged into a very well rehearsed speech written and directed by my mom of how I would finally put on weight if I had a "cup" of it everyday before dinner for six whole months and I would look like jothika in the process."JOTHIKAFICATION",she called it.I wish it was that easy.The dark colored bottle stood on the edge of the table.,that wasnt the scariest part.It was the extent to which my mom would go to "fatten" me up that scared me.Bharathi kanda pudumai Amma yengal Amma.I would'nt be surprised if my mom shoved a funnel in my mouth and forced the liquid down my system and I'd blotted up instantly and all her dreams would come true.And I would do anything to make her dreams come true even if it involved sticking a cycle pump into my mouth. :)

14 comments:

chennaigirl said...

Woowww!!! Nejammave unga amma bharathi kanda puthumai pen thaan. Neenga pencil maathiri irukkeenga so ungalukku wine, appo naan unga veetukku vanthaa saapaade kanla kaattamaattanga pola irukke unga amma.:(
Nice to c u bak in action. Very good. Missed ur posts really and unga comments paatha vodane thonithu neenga seekiram blogospherekku marubadiyum sevai seyya arambichiduveengannu...:)

R-ambam said...

Athu...! Welcome back :)

chae sarakku ooti valakra amma... koduthu vechavanga :D

actually nalla idea.. daily boost kudinnu kulanthaingalai veratrathukku bathila..ithu romba easy.. booze kudi nu solrathukulla "Amma finish" nu jolu kotti sollum.

RamMmm said...

Whoo! TheUncanny is back with a hic! of a post after her so called vana vaasam, which lasted for only arai maasam!. :-D

Maybe the Force worked on you.

// very-lame-dramatic-closing post without me hitting my blog atleast twice a day going through all your comments for my previous posts //

Idhukku paer thaan withdrawal symptomaa? Couldn't resist this dig, especially with the latter part of your post. mannikkanum. :-)

'Slim is in' poyi epponga 'Slim is out' aachchu? [oho, tamil-matrimony.com? :)]

// red wine

:-O ROTFL.

Once you cross-over to the other side, no jumping back. sollunga unga ammavukku :-)

avunga kavalai avungalukku, unga kavalai ungalukku :-(

Happy 'tippling' with that bottle that still should be somewhere there in the corner of your eye!!! :-D :-D

gils said...

ROTFL :D :D sarakadikrathu amma permissiona!!! nejamavay avanga thaanga uncanny :D :D thanni poatta jothika mathiri aveengannnu sonna antha auntyku speciala mahindra city pakkam kovilay katanum :D :D aio..sirichi sirichi vai painings :D :d unga pugazh enga opicela kaaatu thee mathiri paravidichi :D :D

TheUncanny said...

@chennaigirl

Mikka nandri..ivlo pasakara pasanga irukura varaikum uncanny king thaan!! :P..But seriously cudnt really hold back from commenting for ur posts :P!!!..Lets sevai seyya arambichiduvom!!!

TheUncanny said...

@ Ram-bam

hehe..naan vanthutaeeennnn!!!

etho solluvangale, "Kudikaran pechu vidinja pochu"-ippo apta iruku la?!?!

//actually nalla idea.. daily boost kudinnu kulanthaingalai veratrathukku bathila//

ROFL...boost-o booze-o, i will always be a crack in open space.

TheUncanny said...

@ RaMmmm...

//Slim is in' poyi epponga 'Slim is out' aachchu? //

Since the dawn of things,its been that way only, But u see, namba ooru pasanga taste is one of a kind.Summa-va namitha,mumtaz,jothika-lam kodi kati paranthaanga (gils: no offence :P)

//Once you cross-over to the other side, no jumping back.//

Appidiya?? hiya jolly!! :P

//Happy 'tippling' with that bottle//

tippling ah? appidina enna-nga..Unga kitta irunthu neraya kathukalamnu nenkiraen... ;)

TheUncanny said...

@ gils

Aiyo aiyo....en maanam pothe!
Yen post ezhuthunanonu iruku ippo!!!..yenga ootlae therinjudhu,yenga amma athe bottle-le yen mandaile pottu odaichuduvanga!!!

kanagu said...

Glad you are back.. welcome back Kavitha :) :)
wine kudicha fat aagalama??? beer kudicha thaana aaga mudiyum nu solluvanga... ethukum paathu kudinga :P :P

lakshmi said...

goyyalae... apeet arathukum seri repeat arathukum seri, yen de ivlo paesurae..

aunty oda fone no. kudu, aunty ku slighta technology puriyala wine adicha weight podathu beer adicha thaan weight podum..

nee weight poda aunty saraku vangi kudukranga.. naan side dish vangi kudukraen(KFC chicken)... enna vazhvu de unaku...


ana nee gundu ana jothika mathiri irupae sonangalae.. athula enaku slight a heart attack vanthuduchu...
makallae therinchukunga.. slima irukravanga wine kudicha jothika ayidalama... krrrrrrrrr

gils said...

//nee weight poda aunty saraku vangi kudukranga.. naan side dish vangi kudukraen(KFC chicken)... enna vazhvu de unaku...
//

ROTFL :D :D :D ithallavo natupu..ithallavo sontham..uncanny u the very lucky :d:D

K.Kiran said...

Kavitha,

"I jerked two tears everytime the thought struck. buuuuuuuhuuuuuu!!!."

As usually DQ.

In the name of your blog I am improving my Tamil as well as Tamlish too :-).

Kiran.

TheUncanny said...

@ lakshmi

vaadi va!!!
Unnaku gandu,unnaku oru cutting tharaliyenu.. :D :D :D

TheUncanny said...

@ Kiran

Its been over two years since ur calling me a DQ.. :D :D ...i guess im getting used to it now..
glad ur tamilish is improving :D :D