Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Devadhai in the telephone

Having indulged myself to liberal amount of Floyds in the last couple of weeks (evident from my last post) and my new profound band, named Fort minor. Im here back blogging.Probably I should create another blog only for my music (for the benefit of mankind..lol)…I just never seem to run out of things to yap about…Never mind that.

Coming back to this post., what sparked me to write this post is my last month’s Phone bill.Its a whooping Rs.695.Well you can say, its nothing to complain about.Its just 695/-.Well its quite an amount, if your itemized statement for the month shows just 3 numbers-the Customer Care (or rather customer Scare),.A non-existent aunt who my mom keeps calling and, our dear plumber.

I mean, Where is the world going? Let me first give you a gist about how this gadget called mobile, works in my world.

No outgoing from my mobile

Courtesy: My desk phone at work-the latest Cisco IP phone.,with local,STD,ISD facilities with 20 customised polyphonic ringtones including the koo-koo ring of the newly discovered species of the cukoo bird.

No Incoming to my mobile.,

Courtsey: To an amazing number of ppl, who’ve forgotten that I’m still alive or rather forgotten the art of keeping in touch(sigh)

It won’t be fair on my part and Im not doing justice, to this post, if I don’t mention the very few ppl who do care abt me and do take the trouble to call almost everyother day.,No matter how busy they are in their own lives, they take timeoff , to gimme a call.
The following are those blessed souls,

1.ICICI bank of india

2.Airtel India.

3. Deutsche Bank!

4.Oriental bank of Oman

5.Gilmah and Gilpah bank of Gibraltar

6. United bank of “I don’t give a Sh**”

No-matter what time of the day it is, no matter where you are…someone in the above list will be dialing your number.So, ppl like me out there..dont feel Insecure…Coz, they care!!..they really do.
And, when I say, “where ever you are”….take my word….they reach you
‘WHEREEVER YOU ARE’

Once,at work…I was at a meeting with the whole of my team around 15 of them.It was a fully furnished conference room, with state-of-the- art teleconferencing system on a gleaming round table, not only the table gleamed, but also the bald heads in room, with the light from the crimson bulbs bouncing off their heads.The sight was so appeasing to the eye, I nearly dozed off, within .00567 secs of the commencement of the meeting.And then suddenly…….

Ring, Ring, …Ring…Ring,,,..( The conference fone,right next to me on the table was clearly screaming…)

For one moment, everyone in unison looked at the fone, as if they had some special laser beam in their eyes, that would cease the ringing and ,with no notice whatsoever they shifted their gaze on me…

Taken aback, I murmured “ damn, I didn’t do anything”….more to myself.”

But, no one took their gaze off me, only then I realized…that ppl wanted me to answer the phone with some bizarre “eye-contact-language”, ..

The scene, just froze in time..i whipped back my hair gently, and slowly reached for the fone on the desk, as Mr.chari, mopped the tiny beads of sweat from his bald head

…Duddub…dubdub..dubdub (heartbeat sequence……………………………………………..)

As In twentieth century fox, in an ultra slow motion I picked up with receiver

“Hello”

And then, it happened…..a goddess spoke,in a high decibel that can only be heard by dogs.

“ Madam we are calling from I**CI, you have been chosen to for lifetime medical insurance of 5 lakhs. and a free diagonostic membership to any of the bank tied-up hospitals in Chennai, as well as unlimited usage all bathrooms at gomathi nursing home, in guduvancheri.”

The women , recited the whole epic, she learnt during her training, in about 0.5 micro of a second.

I was simply awed at the splendiferous ways by which our customer care seem to have penetrated, care well beyond the boundaries of conference halls,meetings and gleaming bald heads.Not even the penetrating gaze of my fellow teamates, was gonna shake me from admiring the” Devadhai in the telephone” but being a society bound creature, I uttered those words, which is feared by all customer care personnel’s arnd the world..

“Sorry, I’m not interested”

-to be continued

3 comments:

Nisha said...

Good one!

K.Kiran said...

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Have a nice blogeekend,
K.Kiran.

Marsha said...

gomathi hospital in guduvancheri... LOL... :) that was funny... :) thanks for stopping by my blog!