Monday, January 19, 2009

Through childhood, adolescence and late teen years I’ve read the classic Little Women a zillion times, every abridged version known, every movie ever made even an animated series in Japanese.,my sister and myself are bigtime fans of the classic.Whenever I read the book, its amazing how I can easily relate myself to the 2nd amongst the 4 sisters- ‘Joe March’.

Often tempestuous, highly ambitious and sometimes brash, short-tempered, bold and also tom-boyish, similar traits of the author of this post (replace sometimes brash with alltime brash)…However,in the novel, amongst the four sisters, Meg marries Lauire’s tutor Mr.Brooke..Amy finds love in Laurie himself while touring Europe and beth for some reason,does not live to see the end of the novel. Though Jo had resolved never to marry after declining Laurie’s proposal, still she felt an awful loneliness as she wondered what direction her life should take. While struggling with these feelings, a tutor entered her life, Professor Bhaer. He was an older, German gentleman, filled wit'n a genteel love. People turned to him because of the compassion he so freely gave, akin to Beth's spirit. This love healed Jo.and eventually married Bhaer.

Sadly, I have turned 20 something last Jan without seeing anything remotely close to the “Bhaer” .However I must admit, this is least of my worries at the moment.But the most worrisome ppl about me being single, are a crowd of aunts,their cousins, their second in-laws and other female relatives who I’ve never knew existed till now and the Bhai in the corner tea shop.

Why all the dire state of affairs??.

Women today have come a long way, looking well into the future. Having studied in the best schools and colleges, excelling in their carreers as good as the guys. And suddenly they hit 25 years, and BHAM!!!...they give up everything, and move with their husbands to the US of A. And if its arranged marriage fiasco, its even worse…You meet the guy, and get married in a months time, and give up the whole 25 years of your living, principles for what u stand for to move with him and getting accustomed to his way of living. Most of my peers with great aspirations for their careers who I did schooling/college with, are in my orkut friend’s list.And what do they do after their marriage?..Their fulltime job, is posting photos in orkut, when it rains, snows or when a tornado hits their town .And their partime job would include writing comments for photos posted by fellow “desperate” housewives.

“Omg, Its snowing in Houston after ten years”, reads one such friend’s gtalk status.
(A prospect weather girl in the making.,I should say!)
“I ate masala dosa for breakfast”

“I tripped on my shoe lace”

“Oh, my house roof flew away with “Katrina”

Don’t be overwhelmed, if you see such status messages on ur instant chat programs.Its either someone finds Hurricanes very amuzing, or some husband in US is making masala dosa for breakfast.

What’s with this bunch, oneday you have friends around you cracking GRE,GMAT,XAT, CAT, …DOG and every english exam under the roof, and another day you find them at your doorstep holding a glossy hard back card in the name of a wedding invitation with a wide glee while explaining how they plan to settle in US on the tenth day after their marriage. You have been studying so hard so much for 15 old years, working in the best jobs that you deserve and living an independent life that you always dreamed of and then BANG… the moment comes when you have to find that better half, Can u settle for anything less when it comes to marriage?

I guess its time to think ladies(guys can also think),So your parents are maniacally looking for a match, or your mom is constantly bugging you to learn to make drumstick sambar or your sister is just waiting for the day to get the room to herself,Its high time you turn to them and squeal  “This is my life, And it always be interesting as its always been”.And no one is gonna change that.

I dunno, If its me, or every other girl feels this way (I don’t see anybody complaining though..sad…)

Anyways, before I signoff…just a few pointers,

1.Always remember you are more special than you think you are
2.Money is good always, before or after marriage
3.Never compromise on your career, you’ve earned it.
4.Talk to friends who like you the way you are.


rahul aggarwal said...

/Sadly, I have turned 20 something last Jan without seeing anything remotely close to the “Bhaer”./

hey don u think u shd hav said this few yrs back from number 20 correct ot needs sum updation??LOL

btw, u said jan..oh what date is ur bday???

rahul aggarwal said...

i think thru this post, u've actually put ur worries infront of public to decide what shd be the next step in ur life..

nicely written and uve expressed ur feelings well!!!

that dosa thing was funny!!!

Kavitha said...

i said "20 something", not 20!!! :P
and that something is an infidecimal number!!!!

guess wat, that dosa thing was inspired from u! :D

anoop erakkil said...

funny yet thoughtful post kavitha!
//suddenly they hit 25 years, and BHAM!!!...they give up everything,//
Well, i guess the male of the human species too have an equally woeful BHAM..BANG! situation when they have to suddenly accomodate a female of the species as a part n parcel of their lives!Be it arranged marriage or otherwise..,it depends on on how much each partner is willing to 'compromise' on their principles/aspirations whatever!Trust me, its drastic for them too!

//..they give up everything, and move on...//. this is one thing i really dont understand abt females! how do they do tht?!?! do they find it so easy to change thoughts, like changing slides in a powerpoint presentation! any idea?! any idea how?!

//Their fulltime job, is posting photos in orkut, when it rains, snows or when a tornado hits their town .And their partime job ....//ROTFL!!!
anyways jokes apart, abt partime or fulltime job after marriage..heres my take on it:marriage or finding the better half is just another milestone in the journey, and many more can follow, maybe completing a new book(a compilation of poems or stories u'd hav scribblrd in the past maybe!) or mastering a new skill(be it cooking sambar..!) or starting up a business(be it an online networking of desperate weather forecasts/'masala dosa review' frm around the world..!)
All these can happen(for both guys n gals..), wheter ur single or arranged into marriage or are married to ur profession/career...eventually u'll find thers a new path nd the journey continues. after alll its your life, the limit to 'interestingness' is urs to set!

anyways, i wish times changed, and the 'thought process' of the society too!

apologies for the longgggg comment.., couldnt help thinking of al these on reading ur post!
so for now,winding up bfore th comment gets longer than ur post ;)

anoop erakkil said...

eerieeee blog header!!!

rahul aggarwal said...

hey is this header for me..for the comments i make??

Kavitha said...

hey anoop!

Firstly, apologies for the late u wud know by now, i have a company to save ;).The ship is sinking faster than we think it is! :P

Assuming, my apologies are accepted,danks for the long comment!..always a blogger's delight seeing long comments for their posts!.....

ahhh....coming to the comments,

//the male of the human species too have an equally woeful BHAM..BANG! situation //

I do agree, its an equal compromise for the other gender as well,sharing a room with the other "species" cant be a walk on the cake!..But, the degree of the compromise made by the guys is a tad less when compared to the girls'.How many cases have u seen where the guy leaves his job after marriage, to support the girl's career!

I Loved the way, u called marriage to be yet another milestone in the journey of life.Which is wat every girl dreams of,however marriage most becomes a "detour signboard" in the journey of women especially (Atleast in most cases)?!?!?!?!

Be it changing slides in a powerpoint, or to change ones thoughts/ideas held for a lifetime...are all results, of a demand of the circumstance your're in! A classic example of who goes thro' the most "compromising-process" !!!!!!!

Anyways,the post does not target the whole "married community".Just a food for thought from my exp! :)

And, a new blog header is under construction! :D

Rahul, yes..that blog header is to scary u and keep u away from my blog so that u wont come up with comments abt the genuinity abt my age!!!! :P :P :P

anoop erakkil said...

kavitha..i'd agree witht he points on ur comment as well.

btw, 101 clicks will go on, am on a un-planned vacation for...mayybe a couple of weeks..! til then no posting any pics,...jus blog hopping n commenting..

Razigan said...


Really interesting post (atleast the second half).

I appreciate the expressed humour around the theme.

But I beg to disagree on generalizing the consequences of marraige. There are some but not all are.

There is a lot in ur hands to choose and settle for yourself. For example, my wife had already enrolled herself in to CA and pursuing her career after marraige (even after a kid).

Bingo!! said...

sorry for extremely late comment...

well a totally feminist post i shud say... thou i liked the views ... i beg to disagree..
maybe marryin and compromisin on ur career is sumtimes worth it wen in the end ur happy
cos i guess all that matters is ur happiness

K.Kiran said...


From this line of your post "Women today have come a long way, looking well ....."to the end I completely agree with you.I can say that again.

And especially the "3.Never compromise on your career, you’ve earned it" you shouldn't just say but shout so that everyother girl gets the message.It looks silly when people work hard for years and earn a Degree and then just do nothing out of it.

Have a nice weekend,

Subhanjan said...

Came to your blog through Anoop's. You write well and you do think. As I have always said, thinking is an art.

Sriram said...

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